Truth or Scared?

Place your chin here and observe directly into the light. Tell me what you see.
Is the image clearer with this, or this?”

That’s a question I never know the answer to. Like both those instances seem unclear to me. They always do. Do I tell the truth? No! so I do lie? Yes!
wow!
So, when else do you lie you little bird?

 “are you okay?”
“how was the test?”
“when am I going to see you?”
“how far are you?”

Yes, I do lie in those instances too. I ‘lie’ cause the truth, a powerful tool as it is, could hurt you or me, or what we have. So, I ‘lie’-I have to: to give you hope, or give me an escape from certain emotions.

And when do you tell the truth?

I miss you!”
“I love you!”
“I am scared. I am scared because I have a feeling this might be the last letter I write to you, at least for a very long time. I was scared since the last day we spoke, and I’ve been scared every time I had to write on a new page-praying that it wouldn’t be my last paragraph, hoping that it wouldn’t be my last word to you. They have been keeping me sane for all those years, reminding me that I have someone who cares truly, or once did. Now I have so many, all of them getting close to me…and I can no longer fight. I can’t.

So maybe its time I let go, maybe its time I move on. Be happy like you would have wanted me to be. With no sad playlists, no more sad songs. No sad blogging, no emotional poems.
like how it was before you left.
like how I was with you here.

Maybe its time for me to start again. Let people in, and believe-in friendships, in love, in eternity, in God and in me. Just like how you would have wanted. This time, I will try not to disappoint. No promises though, cause that would make it a lie.”

I wish I could cut you out like a paper from a book
and leave you outside my window
for the sun to fade to grey.

I wish I could relinquish our bond like a leaf from a tree
and ignore you on the dust
for the earth to turn into waste.

I wish, I wish.
I wish I could forget you,
but at the same time I pray you forget me not.

Now did that hurt?”
“Yes… No. A little bit!”

“Well, you will be okay! Since that’s what you like being!
Ha!”

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